dēor

by Stay Calm

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04:21
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02:52
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03:40
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credits

released October 22, 2012

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Stay Calm Minneapolis, Minnesota

Every song I write is an autobiography of one sort or the other.

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Track Name: The Ringmaster's Pet Mouse
The Ringmaster’s Pet Mouse

My home is on the train tracks,
I’m livin’ off the scraps they don’t eat.
I travel in a boxcar.

I’m slippin’ through the frame cracks,
You see, some folks they walk with clumsy feet.
But I vanish like a transient.

And head for the ringmaster’s dark and lonely room,
There’s always a warmth inside his ugly shoes.
And he plays the accordion.

He says “you’ve got a lot of nerve kid,
The circus, it’s a circus. It’ll tear your heart in half.
But god damn, I like the cut of your jib.”

So he carved me a hole to live in.
Just between his bed and nightstand pedestal.

And so he showed me the ropes,
He taught me how to keep the lions from getting old.
He said “I think I’m getting home sick.”

Then one day, the lioness, she ceased to growl,
The elephant and walrus ground their tusks off with a file.
The ringmaster loaded up with booze.

He hollered “Well my boy, I’m gettin’ old.
I’m takin’ one more bow, and then it’s over.”
And it was over...

Amidst the unrelenting roar of the crowd,
He left the tent and wandered back to where he first ever found a friend.
And he whispered;

“Come one come all and feast your eyes
On the rodent that showed me what love was.
He’s a marvel of the modern man.”

So small, so insignificant, I’m all alone, nobody’s only,
the lonely road’s the only road I’ll ever know.
So come and loose yourself with us.
Track Name: Dysmorphia, MN
Dysmorphia, MN

This organ sings above her bones,
Dancing its own dance
It dances taught smooth and elegant
The blood beneath it asks, “what’s it like to be so free?”

I want that skin all of it
(Not the way you think)
I want her curves and the shape she’s in.
(And everything between)
She wants the next best thing.
Yeah, she wants a magazine.
A little less of everything.
Like a little tiny waist.

She hides behind the hair that’s draped around her frame.
With fingertips to teeth, she smiles in disdain.
She’s force fed a confidence to calm that fragile, frantic brain.
She looks up and asks the sky, “What’s it like?”

I am just like her, wrapped up in the rigor of sexuality
(I am just like her, dressed up in distraction.
Fucking just to fuck. Fucking just because we can)

And I too hate my skin.
I hate the surface of most everything.
But most of all my skin.

I want that skin all of it
(Not the way you think)
I want her curves and the shape she’s in.
(And everything between)
She wants the next best thing.
Yeah, she wants a magazine.
A little less of everything.
Like a little tiny waist.
Track Name: John Wayne (Gacy)
I’m John Wayne,
Motherfucker, father fearer, brother killer... the list goes on.
I’m a gentle man.
So grab hold, and hold on tight.

You can fall asleep with your head on me.
Close the blind and keep the light out.
Lest you forget, my name is John Wayne Gacy.

I’m the devil and god.
I’m the devil and god.
I’m the devil and god.
I’m the devil and god.

I am John Fucking Wayne.
I’ve got a badge and a gun.
I’ll find the outlaw with my cavalry
And I’ll shoot ‘em up, and make ‘em run.

And I’m the infamous John Wayne Gacy.
I’ll tell your wife I like her blouse.
But if you see me at my worst then she’ll find you.
Beneath the floorboards of my parents house.

I am the hero you’ve been asking about girl.
And I’m the villain that you hate to love.
I’ll sweep you off those pretty feet and we’ll ride off.
I’ll paint that sunset with your sister’s blood.

And I’m a god.
I’ve got an arsenal that’ll lay to waste the world more than once
And I’m a god.
I’ve got imagination.

I’m the devil and god.
I’m the devil and god.
I’m the devil and god.
I’m the devil and god.
Track Name: Myth//Lies We Tell
The storm is on its way.
I’m waiting up for you.
All the thunder and lighting is almost here.
You’re breathing heavy and silhouetted by the moon.
And your neck is screaming “take me.”

I’ve got your lips between my teeth, and i can feel you grin.
Your nails dig in, you’re begging me, “do it again.”

If there’s a god, she lives inside your room,
Between your sheets, behind your door, beneath your clothes.
When the sun’s not shining in.

Fucking come and get me.
I’ll breath your hair as my fingertips trace
From your hip down your leg to your ribs, to the side of your face.

I’ve got your lips between my teeth, and i can feel you grin.
Your nails dig in, you’re begging me, “do it again.”

If there’s a god, she lives inside your room,
Between your sheets, behind your door, beneath your clothes.
When the sun’s not shining in.

Fucking come and get me.
I’ll breath your hair as my fingertips
Trace from your hip down your leg to your ribs, to the side of your face.

The storm is over now.
I lie awake with you.
And we both know the morning is almost here.
You’re breathing quiet now,
And your skin is soft and cool.
And your neck, it whispers...
Track Name: The Chain
Listen to the wind blow, watch the sunrise.
Run in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies.

And if you don’t love me now,
You will never love me again.
I can still here you sayin’ “we will never break the chain.”

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night.
Run in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies.
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light.

And if you don’t love me now,
You will never love me again.
I can still here you sayin’ “you will never break the chain.”

(Oh no, you will never break the chain)

Chains keep us together.
(Running in the shadows)
Track Name: Truth//Secrets I Keep
“So long,” she says.
“Everybody is the laughing stock of the writers block.
This world’s all a lie.
So save those apologies, and your fallacies you designed for the next life.
Once your soul is old and you’ve paid your tolls it’s all a matter of time.”

‘Til we begin to leave and sell our things, and say our long goodbyes.
To the hearts we love and the ones we trust to let these bodies die.

Alone and hopeless, unlike the youthful folly:
“Together forever ‘til the planet and the heavens and us cease to exist,
Like the young optimist that I once was.”
And everybody loved me then.
Now everybody tells me “It’s time, it’s time to go.”
But I’ll stay put until

We begin to leave and sell our things, and say our long goodbyes.
To the hearts we love and the ones we trust to let these bodies die.

Now we’re all alone in this world.
I’ve been forced to love for less than this.
I just want a home with this girl,
But I’ll just burn it down like everything else I touch before

We begin to leave and sell our things, and say our long goodbyes.
Track Name: Anna
Anna sent a postcard from the other side.
Anna left her ghost next to her best friend, crying,
Out and up and loud and quiet now.

She wore her skin just like a painting.
Her canvas bleached out by the hospital bed.
Florescent lights shine on her face and arms and legs.
She is the beauty that exists after it’s dead.

I’ll be your haunt if you’ll just stay for a while.
Don’t leave this place just yet, you’re only a child.
My heart is alone.
My chest is your haunted home.

I’m all alone now.
I hope I’m wrong about the soul.
Left to fend for myself out in this Minnesota cold.
I hope you’re listening.
I hope you miss me.
I hope there’s something left of you that’s still a mystery.
I hope we meet again, once our bones have turned to dirt,
And we can share a seed and water and repopulate the earth.
We’ll be gods again.
Track Name: Baby Bird
She looks up and cries.
She’s not happy with my insides.
I look back at her and hum,
That I can’t stand what I’ve become.
No one listens to what I say,
And who can blame them anyway?
I’m just singin’ about sittin’ still.
And this song is movin’ on.

I know I don’t have the best track record in town.
I know my past says I can’t stop movin’ around.
But I’m not looking for a place to land, miss,
I mean, I’m looking for a bird to dance with.

Baby bird fly away with me.
Ride the current soar above the trees.
Commandeering the breeze below.
We’ll go anywhere the air can go.
As long as we’ve got wind beneath our wings.
The nest we built it doesn’t mean a thing.
So let us both reroute the paths we’ll take.
Or lets pretend I didn’t fly away.

She knows where she’s going,
And she knows where she’s been.
She’s a moth among insects.
A god above men.

I’ve been flying into a sky of unrelenting gusts,
So strong it’s hard to even stop to gasp for breath.
I’m flappin’ my wings, there’s a crack in my beak.
My tiny bird feet are feelin’ sore and weak.
My bones all ache, and my feathers are tattered.
My friends say I look well, I say “Well, I’m flattered,
but I’m not well. I’m hungry and I can’t stand the thought of eating.
I’m tired and I’d rather risk a storm than sleep.”
Track Name: Post Traumatic, USA
It’s all but haunting, how you hardly make a sound,
When you burn those bridges down, and build them back again.
It’s all but haunting now, the way you shouted out,
“Burn those witches down, and tell them what they’ve done.”

Someone alarm the court, they’re just hangin’ around,
Sittin’ this one out and lookin’ in on the crowd.
Perched atop their peaks.

Moths among insects. Gods above the rest.
Men with hungry eyes, safely out of reach.
And their immortal sons.
Boys with old man guns.
Send them off to fight for what?

Not a god damn thing.
They’ll be drinkin’ their dreams on the boulevard.
And the bottle never screams the way those children did,
When they burnt like leaves.
But the drugs are cheap,
And it keeps their eyes
From the noisy crowd screaming “semper fi,”
To the restless youth dressed in genocide.

Drafted to feed the draft of thieves.
Babies, now machines.
Dressed up in fatigues.
Misdirected youth covered in the American man’s dream.

As shit their lives began,
As shit their lives shall end.
The sewage system lied to them when it shit out Uncle Sam.

Raise them up right,
Red, white and blue,
Then just fuck them up and ship them off.

To a hell they couldn’t dream.
They’ll be drinking their tears on the boulevard.
And the bottle never screams the way those children did,
When they burnt like leaves.
And the meds are cheap,
They keep the kids in line.
The anger bottled up.
And the fear inside.
There’s comfort in knowing when the vein’s over flowing,
There’s suicide if you can’t get high.
So they sing:

“As shit their lives began,
As shit their lives shall end.
The sewage system lied to them.”